Hiatt: “Babe, you should totally let me drive.”

J.S.: “You driving? No way man, I-4 is currently under construction and hazardous enough as it is, let alone adding to the chaos which is your stellar driving skills into the mix. No thank you.”

 

While the two founding members were on their way to Miami for a quick visit with Seth’s Abuela who isn’t feeling well, that leaves me to give the drummer a ride back to Tampa. I don’t mind really, I still have three more of Hells Redemption band members to interview anyway and they are at the band’s house doing work on the new album.

 

Hiatt: “My driving is excellent J.S. and talk about speeding! You’re going seventy!”

J.S.: “Everyone is going seventy, some even faster. Shit, that asshole that just sped past us has got to be going eighty-five.”

Hiatt: “Babe, pull over and let me drive. I’ll catch up with him and tell him he’s being totally bogus.”

J.S.: “No freaking way. He wants the next ticket from FHP, then that is his biz. We’ll stick to the middle lane and going only seventy.”

Hiatt: “How are you supposed to interview me while driving?”

J.S.: “I have all the questions safely up here.” *Taps noggin. * “Anyway, I’ve been asking the same ones, so this should be easy. How do you like the series so far?”

 

I note the atmosphere in the car plunges to zero in a matter of seconds. I chance a glance over at the passenger seat and yep, one particular drummer is not amused. I don’t know if it’s because I’ve revealed his sexuality or that I had his brother shot in the last book. This could go either way.

 

Hiatt: “You really want me to answer that?”

 

Oh shit, it’s worse than I thought. When he doesn’t throw in a “Hiattism” into his sentences, it generally means he’s on a par boil and simply waiting to give someone a “what for” he feels they have coming. While I don’t feel I deserve one, I have to remember who I’m dealing with here. Of all the characters I’ve created, he’s the most protective of whom he loves.

 

J.S.: “I wouldn’t have asked if I didn’t want to know, no matter what your answer is.”

Hiatt: “While I am thoroughly grateful for my life babe, I’m not happy with the direction you are taking it in.”

 

Whoa, talk about a shock. I actually was banking on the fact he’d bitch at me about his brother. Okay or that I haven’t made him a fisherman out on the Bering Sea.

 

J.S.: “Our past’s one day will catch up to us Hiatt, you will have to address what happened.”

Hiatt: “Says you babe. No can do, not happening.”

 

Oh yes, stubborn Hiatt is back.

 

J.S.: “So I guess I already have my answer to this next question then. Your character’s development so far, happy or unenthusiastic about it?”

Hiatt: *Stares out the window clearly unhappy with my writer ass. *

J.S.: “Hiatt look, the title of my last book has significant meaning in life overall. We all one day have to reconcile with the decisions we’ve made, whether good or bad.”

Hiatt: “Or we can just leave well enough alone.”

J.S.: “Hiatt, I’m old enough to be your mom, therefore I’ve been on the planet a lot longer than you. Trust me, some things you can’t just let go. This will come back to haunt you, when you least expect it. Wouldn’t you rather have me rip off the band aid versus simply ignoring it?”

Hiatt: “You didn’t even have to come up with it at all, you chose too J.S. there is a difference.”

J.S.: “True, but as I developed your character, I found I was making you pretty one dimensional. We all have secrets. I need to provide answers to the readers where your rage issues come from. You weren’t just born this way man.”

Hiatt: “How anti Lady Gaga of you. Babe listen, I love you, so do me a favor and let’s change the subject.”

 

Oh dear, I really set him off. Considering we still have an hour to go in our drive, this could be the most uncomfortable ride ever or a pleasant one. So I decide he’s right, we need to change the subject. I then wince, for the next question is not going to make him happy, but I genuinely want to know.

 

J.S.: “Besides Sister Maria Therese’s death, what in your opinion has been the most surprising thing to happen in this series so far?”

Hiatt: “You adding a virgin into this entire mix.”

 

His answer makes me smile. Remembering his reaction back in Vancouver in Redemption is still what I consider some of my best writing yet.

 

J.S.: “Did you find that unrealistic?”

Hiatt: “Totally! Most babes out there give it up in their teens. To have a bodacious babe like A.G. sitting next to me at the dinner table and confessing to that made me go, whoa. And then I continued thinking about it and was like, whoa. Next, I thought about it some more and was like, whoa!”

 

I can’t contain my laughter if I tried. He really can make one word have three definitions.

 

J.S.: “Okay, enough about the band for right now and this story, what is your take is on Gene Simmons comments about rock being murdered? What are your thoughts on it?”

Hiatt: “He’s blind as a bat.”

J.S.: “Last I heard, Mr. Simmons eyesight is just fine.”

Hiatt: “Babe, not what I meant. If he honestly can’t see the crowd’s bands like Disturbed, Avenged Sevenfold and Shinedown attracts he’s blind. That’s not including the sold out shows Hells Redemption has. Rock is far from dead. My bank account keeps getting fatter as does his. I think he’s just pissed because he still has to dress up in that ridiculous costume and tour the world in his old age to get the same crowds to show up.”

J.S.: “Ouch Hiatt, that was a little harsh.”

Hiatt: “Don’t get me wrong, I love him, he’s totally awesome, but his opinions sometimes should best be kept to himself.

J.S.: “I’m sensing here you’re still pretty miffed about what he had to say about suicide.”

Hiatt: “Totally, I’m with Nikki Sixx on this issue.”

 

Not wanting to get into a debate on Gene’s latest comments which got him and the band KISS in some hot water, I decide to trudge on with my preset interview questions. His answers thus far have been pretty interesting and surprising.

 

J.S.: “Let’s get back to the make-believe world now. If Seth and Drake’s car hadn’t broken down in a little one stop light town in New Mexico, therefore, never discovering you or John, do you think Hells Redemption would be what it is today?

Hiatt: “It’s not ego talking J.S., it’s a fact, no, because they would never find a drummer with my killer skills.”

J.S.: “Not ego talking? Sorry man, that is pretty egotistical, but I’ll let it go because you are right. I’ve made you one of the top five drummers in music history, but what about John?”

Hiatt: “Oh without a bass, any band’s music would suck. He’s killer at it too. I’d like to say they wouldn’t sound the same without him, but I can’t admit to that. There are some damn good bassists out there and I think they would have ran into Cole anyway.”

 

My jaw is now on the car floor. Never in a million years did I expect him to say that. John Lucas, I have painted in my head as one of the best in the world. To hear his own brother not tout his amazing skills just boggles my mind.

 

J.S.: “Wow, okay, so next question, and by the way, I so reserve the right for follow up on that last answer. However, I have to move this along. So, I know what I have in my head for your character’s future, but what do you want Hiatt?”

Hiatt: “You know what I want babe, give me my harem!”

J.S.: “Hiatt, even you yourself admitted to Alex that is only a ruse. You want to be a dad. Your thought process makes complete sense though. Marry a bunch of chic’s and they all have kids, soccer team!”

Hiatt: “Nope, bogus, I’ve changed my mind. I want access to as much pussy as possible twenty-four seven. Make it happen babe.”

J.S.: “While I want this series to be unpredictable Hiatt, I am not writing polygamy into the mix to keep it that way, sorry.”

Hiatt: “This is totally bogus and I think we should take a poll from your readers to see what they want. They would totally go for it. I think you won’t because you’d have to name them all, and you hate coming up with character’s names.”

J.S.: “Yes, while that is not my favorite part about writing so many characters, I get by. However, I’m not giving you a harem Hiatt. Let it go.”

Hiatt: “Babe, it’s the right thing to do.”

J.S.: “Says you drummer boy. Okay, leave me alone for a bit to process your answers.”

Hiatt: “Still writing the outline for Temptation?”

J.S.: “Yeah.” *Scowls a bit at the length thus far, too big. *

Hiatt: “Its easy babe, fill up the book with me and my ten wives and our sexual debauchery on the harem bed at the Tampa house. It’ll be a nationwide best seller.”

J.S.: “Hiatt seriously, go away.”

Hiatt: “Alright, but don’t come crying to me when you don’t put it in and your readers think the book totally blows.”

J.S.: “Hiatt! I mean it!”

Hiatt: *Folds his arms in satisfaction, and then lays the seat back to take a nap. *